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Lance Armstrong to go to Fake Space with William Shatner

a group of people stand around a tableLance Armstrong (right) along with other contestants on "Stars on Mars." Photo c. FOX
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Imagine if a Tour de France peloton comprised of celebrities and athletes crashed into a spaceship piloted by William Shatner, which then crashed into a film crew looking to make a Survivor-style reality TV show.

If you can wrap your brain around that, you’re halfway to understanding Stars on Mars: A new reality show premiering on Fox on June 5. If you’re asking yourself why you’re reading about such a thing on BikeRumor!, it’s because one of the show’s contestants is Lance Armstrong.

It goes without saying that the 51-year-old former professional cyclist who famously won seven consecutive Tour de France titles between 1998 and 2005 has led a checkered professional career.

And unfortunately for all the people he inspired through not only his cycling success but also his cancer survival, he fell hard. In 2012, a United States Anti-Doping Agency investigation found that Armstrong was a part of “the most sophisticated, professionalized, and successful doping program that [professional cycling] has ever seen.”

As you’ll recall, all seven of Armstrong’s Tour de France titles and one Olympic medal were stripped. The Texan maintained his innocence until finally admitting to doping in 2013.

For those who harbor recreational interests other than cycling, Armstrong may or may not be the headlining celeb of Stars on Mars. The “former professional road-racing cyclist and investor,” as the show’s press materials refer to him, will join other retired icons like NFL running back Marshawn Lynch and UFC fighter Ronda Rousey on set. Natasha Leggero, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Adam Rippon, Tom Schwartz, Richard Sherman, Tinashe, Porsha Williams Guobadia, Tallulah Willis, and Ariel Winter round out the Fox show’s roster.

The contestants will “live, eat, sleep, strategize and bond with each other in the same [simulated] space station,” the press release reads.

According to promotional materials, the show appears to be roughly based on a tried-and-true reality TV formula: the “crew” will live together in close confines while competing “missions” assigned to them by fictional starship captain and surprisingly decent singer/songwriter (when he collabs with Ben Folds) William Shatner. The contestants will vote one crew member “back to Earth,” each week.

The voting component necessitates “stellar social skills,” which could spell trouble for Armstrong — a man with a long track record of allegedly bullying and humiliating teammates and employees.

If he runs foul, he’d better steer clear of Rousey. On the other hand, maybe the skills Armstrong cultivated in his years of lying about doping are exactly what you need to win a reality TV show contest.

fox.com/stars-on-mars

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Albert
Albert
11 months ago

I’m in that weird cross-over category of Bike Rumor readers who know who Porsha Williams is.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Albert

Cool story Albert.

Charlie
Charlie
11 months ago

In space no one can hear you cheat.

Why do the cycling media still give this guy coverage?

Trevor
Trevor
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Two extra questions: 1) why have they never assigned a second or third placed rider as tour winner? 2) Why hasn’t a second or third placed rider sued for not being designated default winner? None of ’em were clean, my friend.

David
David
11 months ago
Reply to  Trevor

replacement ‘winners’ were named, not sure how prizes were dealt with, as some were sponsorships & donations to be designated by the winner,etc.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Because he won the Tour de France 7 times.

Brent
Brent
11 months ago
Reply to  Fake Namerton

was it in a fake show where they simulate living on mars?

J K
J K
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Because even though i never liked him, he was an incredible athlete who did no more dopping than everyone else in the bunch during his time.

mes
mes
11 months ago
Reply to  J K

Is it really so easy for everyone to overlook the fact that he was the only one to use his success and wealth to defraud sponsors as well as ruin the financial and personal lives of anyone and everyone who dared to question the results?

Brent
Brent
11 months ago
Reply to  J K

This is factually incorrect and bothers me that people already forgot.

  • he had UCI protection (reported by the UCI themselves from their external audit performed few years after) due to conflicts of interests.
  • that allowed him to do things other couldn’t (the backdated medical prescription following up cancer treatment, the cortisone authorizations…).
  • we can add that he ran a mafia type of organization, something never seen before. Pressuring federations, teams and riders and staff.

He is the absolute worse that road.

phillip mckraken
phillip mckraken
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Still 1 of the most talented and smartest rider of all time .That is why. Not saying cheating is ok but at the time everyone was doing it so fair game he was the man

Brent
Brent
11 months ago

This is factually incorrect and bothers me that people already forgot.
1) he had UCI protection (reported by the UCI themselves from their external audit performed few years after) due to conflicts of interests.
2) that allowed him to do things other couldn’t (the backdated medical prescription following up cancer treatment, the cortisone authorizations…).
3) we can add that he ran a mafia type of organization, something never seen before. Pressuring federations, teams and riders and staff.
He is the absolute worse that road.

Dave
Dave
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Everyone deserves a second chance. I would hope that if roles were reversed you would support that.

Roger Pedacter
Roger Pedacter
11 months ago
Reply to  Dave

Except Lance. He has never expressed any real contrition or made any amends to the people he attacked and defrauded.
A second chance requires a *some level* of demonstrating a change of character. Which he has most definitely not done.

Charlie
Charlie
11 months ago
Reply to  Dave

The roles wouldn’t be reversed as I never doped to win races.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Charlie

Bro you clicked on the article and engaged by making comments. There’s your answer.

Mrazi
Mrazi
11 months ago

He was simply the best among the doped ones.

Eggs Benedict
Eggs Benedict
11 months ago
Reply to  Mrazi

His team certainly did perfect their process. And no one died either.

Brent
Brent
11 months ago
Reply to  Mrazi

This is factually incorrect and bothers me that people already forgot.
1) he had UCI protection (reported by the UCI themselves from their external audit performed few years after) due to conflicts of interests.
2) that allowed him to do things other couldn’t (the backdated medical prescription following up cancer treatment, the cortisone authorizations…).
3) we can add that he ran a mafia type of organization, something never seen before. Pressuring federations, teams and riders and staff.
He is the absolute worse that road.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Brent

It’s bad wen you copy and paiste speling mistakes.

Brent
Brent
11 months ago
Reply to  Fake Namerton

Thanks for pointing that out, I will do better next time. Now that this is covered, do you have anything on the content itself. Guess no

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Brent

Who cares this much. It’s professional bicycling. Not that important. People in that industry are the table scraps from actual real industries. Maybe focus on people who have committed and gotten away mass atrocities and widespread fraud. There’s plenty of those. At least it was fun watching this guy smash doped eurotrash.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago

Greatest cyclist of all time.

Eggs Benedict
Eggs Benedict
11 months ago
Reply to  Fake Namerton

I wouldn’t say of all time. But maybe the EPO era.

Fake Namerton
Fake Namerton
11 months ago
Reply to  Fake Namerton

7 downvotes. Equivalent to the Yellow Jerseys Lance has won.

Jon
Jon
11 months ago

Hopefully there is a real Airlock available.

Joe Bond
Joe Bond
11 months ago

If the tie in was with the Expanse, Lance would probably be able to tolerate Rasputin amounts of anti-G juice injections.

lance
lance
11 months ago

Go home LA and leave us alone.

Brent
Brent
11 months ago

That is a reasonably good match, a fake show, as fake has his career.

Vince
Vince
11 months ago

May you never talk anymore about this always lying and cheating bad guy ?

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