We’ve all heard of N+1, sure. But have you heard of N-1? Probably not, since it’s a brand new service from our friends at Industry Nine. With N-1, you’ll no longer have to hide those new bike purchases from your significant other – simply have Industry Nine engineer it to look exactly like the old one, but with modern performance!
From Industry Nine:
Is outdated geometry, noodle of a fork and antiquated 3×9 drivetrain holding you back from being the envy of all your friends on the trail? Look no further than the Industry Nine N -1 (N MINUS ONE) service – a paradigm shattering, proprietary bike conversion process. N-1 is designed to transform your current beater to “Staff Ride” approved or conversely, take your new whip and dress it down as your old bike – keeping you out of hot water with your S.O.
Keep your relationship as rosy as the honeymoon phase with our N-1 replication service that hides the fact that your bike truly does now “cost more than your car!” We’ll even provide tips on off-shore bank accounts and a “Jelly of the Month Club” membership certificate to prove your extra income has been eliminated!
Or perhaps the new bike project is still floundering because of parts availability (sorry) and you need a kickstart to motivate you into the riding season – we got you covered with our other carefully curated N-1 service options!
Not only does N-1 offer bolt for bolt replication, we also offer a variety of subterfuge services intended on punking your riding buddies. Whether it be an exact copy of your older rusty frame, the ubiquitous and indistinguishable “looks like a Session,” or the tax-bracket hopping titanium and carbon laden “Dentist’s Dream,” rest easy with your new (or is it old?) bike in the hands of our overqualified and underpaid team of bikestheticians.
With a dedicated team of engineers, our patent pending 1:1 N-1 replication technology is proven to evade the eagle eye of even the most perceptive penny pinching partner. Or mix it up and “de-e” your new e-bike to befuddle your riding buddies as you smoke them up the tech.
Courtesy of our in-house machine shop, hand over your wallet at peace knowing your dollars are spent supporting American made manufacturing. With a manageable 10-12 month lead time on any conversion service, you’ll be on your new bike just in time for the latest and greatest axle or bottom bracket spec to render your dream build obsolete.
Our only in-class N-1 wheel building table outfits your bike with custom builds designed to withstand the most demanding ride conditions while retaining the look of a 26” wheel with an inner tube and a 1.95” tire.
Another satisfied customer! Anna is “look and look again” bike check ready, keeping her relationship stable, while expanding, yet oddly maintaining equilibrium of her bike stable. For more information visit industrynine.com/N-1
April Fools! Sometimes hard to distinguish facts from fiction, this seems to be at least partly fake news. The cycling industry pulls our legs, sometimes we pull along a bit too all in good fun, and we all can be entertained. Now back to your regularly scheduled, real new tech stories…