Mattel Inc. is recalling 7 million of their Trikes and Tough Trikes toddler tricycles “that could cause injury if a child strikes, sits or falls on a protruding plastic ignition key.” That doesn’t sound all that terrifying does it? But for some strange reason most of the press releases regarding this product recall don’t use the language from the CPSC website; they put it a little more bluntly over there:
Hazard: A child can strike, sit or fall on the protruding plastic ignition key resulting in serious injury, including genital bleeding.
I could see some old school, tough dad shrugging off the less graphic version of the recall explanation “Ah whatever, kids are too soft these days. When we were kids we rode our bikes around all day without helmets, with pointy sticks in our mouths…once in a while we’d slow down long enough to take some candy from a stranger.” He might even balk at the recall notice if it went:
Hazard: A child can strike, sit or fall on the protruding plastic ignition key resulting in serious injury, including GOUGING OUT OF AN EYEBALL.
“Lose an eyeball, bah! Tommy’sÂ got two…who needs two eyes anyway? And so what if he lost an eye? He could get an eye patch and then he’d look like a pirate. Pirate’s are awesome, everyone knows that. He’d look even cooler if he lost hand or a leg too. Maybe we should get him that Fisher-Price Little People Chip N’ Chop Wood Chipper set.”
But bring the jewels into question and Old-School dad is going to change his tune right quick, “Bleeding genitals! Why didn’t you just say bleeding genitals?” (Well because it’s a really, incredibly unpleasant phrase to hear for anyone, but it does drive the, um…point home.)
Click more to see photos of the deadly-crotch-wrecking-ignition-keys in question, and to read the CPSC release…
Red: Severe Risk of Tender-Attack
The truth is that of the ten children reportedly injured by these ill-placed keys, six of them were little girls. So calm down hard-assed dad turned Petey Panic, the Terror-To-Your-Son’s-Tenders-Alert has been downgraded from Red to Yellow.
Yellow: Significant Risk of Tender-Attack
Incidents/Injuries: CPSC and Fisher-Price are aware of 10 reports of incidents resulting in injury. Six of the incidents required medical attention after young girls, ages two to three years old, fell against or on the protruding disc-shaped and D-shaped pretend key.
Description: This recall involves the Fisher-Price Trikes and Tough Trikes toddler tricycles with model numbers listed in the chart below and that have either a disc-shaped or D-shaped pretend key. The model numbers are located under the seat in the storage compartment. The trikes are intended for children 2 to 5 years of age. The pretend keys are located about 3 inches in front of the seat and protrude at least 5/8 inches above the trike’s body. The trikes manufactured after June 16, 2010 are not included in this recall. These trikes have a modified key in a flattened D shape (see picture below) and a manufacturer run number higher than 1670Q2. The run number indicates the trike was manufactured on the 167th day of 2010 or on June 16, 2010. The run number is found under the seat below the model number.
Sold at: Mass merchandise stores nationwide from January 1997 through September 2010 for about $25.
Manufactured in: Mexico
Remedy: Consumers should immediately place the trikes out of children’s reach and contact Fisher-Price for a free replacement key.
Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Fisher-Price at (800) 432-5437 between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. ET Monday through Friday or visit the firm’s website at www.service.mattel.com