Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Ahrens Cycles’ Wisecracker is a clever little bottle opener. It comes in versions to mount to your seatpost, workstand or downhill fork stanchion. Why?

“Because beer can’t open itself.”

There’s also the Wisecracker Lite, with a 1-1/8″ opening to act as a spacer between your headset and stem, leaving a bottle opener conveniently tucked under the stem in case of an “emergency.” Stack height is just 4.8mm and weight is a mere 16g. This one’s just $12 (plus S&H), and they’re available in custom orders with your own logo or name laser etched on them. For those with Ti or raw steel frames, there’s a stainless steel version, too.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The Wisecracker comes in all four standard seatpost diameters plus a 1.5″ (left) for either your work stand or other large tubes, including DH fork uppers.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The seatpost models will retail for $20.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Yep, full custom, baby. And we’ve got a handful of the Wisecracker Lite and are full of the holiday spirit. So here’s the deal. Leave a 140-character-or-less comment on this post detailing how you could use one of these custom Bikerumor.com versions. Make sure you use a real email (and don’t freak if your comment doesn’t appear right away, we manually approve them). We’ll pick our favorite response and mail that person their very own Bikerumor.com Wisecracker!

Comments must be posted by Midnight EASTERN STANDARD TIME on Thursday, Dec. 15. Anything submitted after that will be read, possibly enjoyed, but not eligible for winning. Our writers are the sole judges on which comment is best.

79 comments

  1. Huffman on

    Impressing everyone with my home brewed stouts and IPAs would be so much easier with this uber cool must have tool!! I also think it should be mounted on a new 29er, now I have a reason to spend big at the LBS for Christmas.

    Reply
  2. Greg on

    The so-called bottle opener on the d-hanger of my Santa Cruz Heckler obviously wasn’t designed by a lover of fine ales. I need this!

    Reply
  3. Ghost Rider on

    Found? As in “just found”? Because these have been around for years.

    That being said, I would use one to open a delicious post-ride Mexican Coke…the one with genuine soul-replenishing sugar.

    Reply
  4. uglyyeti on

    Because my doctor just told me that more beer will lower my LDL cholesterol and triglycerides. Please don’t let a tricky bottlecap stand between me and my medication.

    Reply
  5. Will on

    Because I turned 21 last week and this would make the perfect accessory for Post Collegiate Road Races in the spring. Finish up the collegiate crit then pop the top of a cold one following the podium.

    Reply
  6. faf on

    My tires are begggginnnnggggg you for one of these. They are tired of having to open beer bottles by spinning really fast and hitting the cap two or three times.

    Reply
  7. FireGuru on

    im about to upgrade all my components to Red, and since its my first time wrenching alone it could be a long cold night in the garage…..all that lager may or may not help my build turn out any better but im pretty sure itll keep my spirits up

    Reply
  8. rich on

    it gives me a great reason to keep my bikes in the house, and not the shed.

    ”Now then wife, where did I leave that bottle opener…? Oh yeah, it’s on the bike!”

    Reply
  9. Ben on

    We all know the importance of keeping hydrated on long rides, and this product seems an intuitive step!

    Bikes also require frequent maintenance to keep them shifting well .. and I like to have a beer while I tune my derailleurs, and this would be perfect. The bike just keeps on giving.

    Reply
  10. h2ofuel on

    Yes! I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for some sort of a bottle-opening device like this. These things are impossible to find nowadays. If only they would put them on multi-tools, shoes, dropouts, saddles, belt buckles, etc. the world would be a better place. All in good fun I suppose; if someone will buy it, then someone will make it. Happy holidays all.

    Reply
  11. Adam Johnson on

    By putting this in my headset stack, I will look down and remember what awaits after the ride, and will ride faster, faster, FASTER GO GO GO GET BACK TO THE CAR THERE BEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

    Reply
  12. Jonathan on

    Because I can’t wait to see the look on my road racing weight weenie friends faces when I ride up with one of these on my seat post. Plus in Texas you really need a cold beverage after a nice summer ride!

    Reply
  13. Kay on

    Is it just me or is the design flawed? Seems to me that flat side that opens the bottle should be toward the middle. How else would you be able to pry open a bottle with seat post or bike in the way.

    Reply
  14. Moonshine on

    I’ve probably drunk more beer than ½ of the free world population but I usually just chew the caps off… This would be easier… ME WANT!

    Reply
  15. jason on

    Ow wow I could really use one of these! MTB Mike would stop making me open his bottles with my jacked up teeth AND the custom BikeRumor engraving would forever prove I no longer read the Molly Cameron blog!

    Reply
  16. ultradawn on

    No bike snob, my used demo carbolicious frame makes me seem so! This opener, prominently mounted, would remind the world i truly belong in the drinking class!

    Reply
  17. Xris on

    I would definitely have to use these after a long epic day in the mountains. Coffee works, but sometimes a really great ride deserves a brew for everyone involved.

    Reply
  18. CBontheMV on

    Since I pose no threat to the podium runners, it would be nice if my rig served a purpose other than carrying me around as pack meat.

    Reply
  19. HarryRumor on

    No worries now, since I no longer carry around a lighter (wrks well to open brew ski’s) due to being a quiter, with the wisecracker on my BA mountain bike, a brew ski is just a tilt away.

    Reply
  20. smr5 on

    I would put this on my first gen On-One Inbred 29er. Inbreds can use all the help they can get, even to perform relatively simple tasks such as opening beer. It would be particularly useful to toast 2012 on my annual New Years Day ride with my buddies.

    Reply
  21. Marco on

    I can already see the face of my enduro-ride colleagues with their mouth wide open when we have just finished to enjoy the best, long and exciting singletrack full of flow riding, after 2 or 3 hours of sweat and dust, with no liquid in the camelback and I open some cold beers to share together with my new cool Wisecracker bottle opener…

    Reply
  22. caliente on

    I’d use it to crack beers for all of my little elves to thank them for their hard work. Then I’d crack a beer for myself. Ho Ho Ho.

    Reply
  23. slowpokke-on-wheelz on

    gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! there, 140 character!

    Reply
  24. martin on

    The most important news comes from bikerumor.com I believe in no higher power ! I only believe in you ! You are my everything ! I love you ! You make my soul happy ! Could you please pass me the bottle opener !!!???

    Reply
  25. Cuira on

    I would use it to give my truck’s door mechanism a break. On camping MTBing trips I never can find an opener fast enough to keep me from using the mechanism on my passenger door. Tends to blast beer spray all over the place and one day may wreck the door harware.

    Reply
  26. Chance Openerstrong on

    People often ask me, Chance Openerstrong, why do you imbibe after races? With no hesitation I take a long swig, burp and explain: because in heaven there is no beer.

    Reply
  27. Adam on

    Because I always bring the beers for post-ride, and hate when I can’t get them open to share with friends and celebrate a great (now fat-bike) ride.

    Reply
  28. Dave on

    If you need this product to open a beer, you’re not a dedicated enough drinker. ‘Round my shop we like to play a game called “open your beer on this”, where “this” is the nearest object at hand. If I can get 5 people in a row to open a bottle using a stack of business cards and you’ve got a whole bike in front of you, you don’t need this product.

    Reply
  29. Dave Holland on

    I need one of these because I’m not actually that cool. If I was really cool I would just buy one and not be a tool by having the BikeRumor! logo on my bottle opener. Not that there is anything wrong with being a tool for BikeRumor!, but there is a certain cool factor that comes with spending 20 bucks on an incognito beer opener. Having said that, I realize I probably won’t get a free bottle opener because it wouldn’t make sense to have a cool product seen in use by someone who really isn’t all that cool. Damn! One of the most uncool things you can say online is “having said that”, I’m really screwed now.

    Reply
  30. MBR on

    I’ll never win anything in my life. I’m obviously a loser. I didn’t think of this idea first and I checked my e-mail too late to win. Loser times two! Guess I’ll sulk off and have a beer… 🙁

    Reply
  31. Mike on

    A four line sonnet:

    Now is the Winter of our discontent

    When in a drought I all alone beweep my dehydrated state

    Art more spacer and most temperament

    With bicycle friends to share my IPA

    Reply
  32. Kristibee on

    Our writers have all chimed in and given us their favorites – and we have 4 winners of a Bikerumor Wisecracker Lite. If your name is listed below, we will be getting in touch with you via email. Congrats!

    Evan T – 12/14/11 – 9:22pm
    Because I’m going to put it on a Specialized Tarmac SL4.

    pdxley – 12/15/11 – 1:33am
    A haiku for brews:
    It’s getting colder
    Cyclocross season is here
    Frosty brews for speed
    Happy holidays.

    Michael – 12/15/11 – 10:28am
    A can of worms won’t open itself.

    evolvo13 – 12/15/11 – 11:28am
    Seat prost!

    Reply
  33. Leonard Moreno on

    I will be a quadruple purpose tool/marriage enhancer. 1) it will serve as a spacer. 2) open adult beverages 3) it will help hang my Salsa from a bile hook on the garage ceiling 4) most important, with one bike out of the way wife will be happy…happy wife happy life.

    Reply
  34. rad on

    wow…this wont work unless you like to open beer upside down…Only one other comment noticed.. we live in a world of dummies.

    Reply

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