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Bikerumor Review: Chomper Body Ballocks and Booty Balm Chamois Creams

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A while back, we discovered Chomper Body products and were impressed by the natural-ness of their ingredients.  So, naturally (pun intended) we requested some samples to review…we’re all about natural products for anything that goes on or in our bodies around here.

They sent us the Ballocks and Booty Balm to try, plus a few sample sizes of the Muscle Butter. I reviewed the men’s Ballocks chamois cream and Marisa (our resident triathlete girl) reviewed the women’s Booty Butter chamois cream. Our reviews are after the break, and hers is decidedly more blunt than mine. We both used the Muscle Butter samples.

Hit ‘more’ for an ingredients list and descriptions and our reviews and ratings…


Both the mens and womens versions are oil and butter based, not water, so they last well on longer rides. The unique ingredient for Chomper is Emu Oil, which is said to have anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial properties.

The mens Ballocks version is “spiked” with tea tree and lemon essential oils, so it smells really good, but there’s no so much that you get a tingle or burn…which is good.

The women’s Booty Balm does away with the tea tree oil and adds essential oils of lavendar and lemon. Also, the mens has coconut oil and the womens does not.

The primary butters are Shea, Mango and Cocoa, and there are no added (ie. unnatural) stabilizers, so depending on the temperature (hot car, etc.), it could feel really soft one day and firm the next. It works fine either way.

(Full ingredients are at bottom of this post)



The consistency of both is fairly thick in a creamy, waxy kind of way…as in, dip your finger in and it crumples up, but softens with body heat if you let it stay on your finger or hand long enough before applying. I usually apply directly to the chamois with tub containers so as not to ‘contaminate’ the product if I have to add a little more than originally thought necessary.

It glides on smooth, and it doesn’t take a lot to coat synthetic or fabric “chamois” pads, and only slightly more to butter up a real chamois. So, it seems to be lasting a good long while. It’s $18.00 for a 4oz jar, so it’s good that it doesn’t take much.

I used it for the Giant demo day when we were on and off the saddle and riding in very damp conditions for about five hours, and the Ballocks did its job well. I had no chafing or irritation on the, uh, front and middle parts. Unfortunately, I didn’t apply enough (any, really) to the rear of the chamois, and the back of my bum was a little irritated at the abuse. So, after showering, I applied a little Ballocks to the irritated area and the next morning it was fine just fine. Actually, even after showering, you can still feel the cream on your junk, which I presume means it’ll continue moisturizing the skin. That’s what I tell myself, anyway.

Basically, this is my new favorite chamois cream. It smells good, feels good, it not overly greasy or squishy and it lasts a good long time. Me likey.


Those that love the sport of cycling will pedal at any cost for the most part. Sometimes, not even rain, high-noon heat, or appendage-numbing temps will stop the most avid cyclist from getting in their miles. What can sideline a rider is a serious case of saddle sores – well, maybe not even that, but that’s another story.

Luckily, saddle sores can be prevented. A saddle that suits your anatomy, a decent pair of cycling shorts, and a tub or tube of crotch cream will keep your behind happy and free of unnecessary chaffing and irritation. I’ll leave the details of what sitting in tight shorts for extending periods of time, where a good bit of moisture and bacteria accumulate, can do to the skin. Let’s just say, it’s not a pretty sight and leads to “going commando” for days.

I consider myself an avid rider and will do what it takes to keep my legs pedaling and my butt A-OK in the saddle for numerous hours at a time. Some sort of chamois lotion has graced the inside of my shorts for several years now. My medicine cabinet has seen a variety of creams but only a few consistent brands. I avoid putting anything on my skin that I wouldn’t put in my mouth. Our skin is our body’s largest organ and yes, it does breathe in and absorb what it comes in contact with. So, the best thing about the Booty Balm is that it’s an all natural product, free of petroleum and pore-clogging potions. Essential oils and emollients make up the ingredients offering antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and skin barrier properties. In addition, the chosen oils combined in this product give it a clean, spa-like aroma.

Now for the down-side – its staying power is about two hours, which just doesn’t cut it on the long weekend rides. Hint: on-the-go travel size packets would be a wise product offering. Bottom line: I’d buy this product but would only use it for my shorter weekly rides and to lather on post-ride since it does tout anti-inflammatory benefits. And let’s face it, even with the best chamois creams on the market, wearing underwear after a century ride sucks. Might as well give your crotch a little TLC – this balm provides just the right amount of protection to prevent further chaffing from your skivvies. Save the booty!


MARISA: As much as I liked and experienced the advertised benefits of Chomper Body’s Booty Balm, I am reluctant to back its Muscle Butter lotion and what it proposes. It states that it is, a stimulating mix of essential oils, this lotion encourages blood flow to sore and tired muscles and helps the body rid itself of lactic acid build-up. Yes it does make the skin tingle, it smells nothing like Grandma’s Ben-Gay, and it’s non-greasy formula does feel good when massaged onto the skin. The tingling lasts for a few minutes then does seem to make the muscle feel warm on the inside. However, its description makes it sound like it’s a miracle potion. Yes, blood flow helps facilitate removal of lactic acid build-up. Massage does increase blood flow but only to a certain extent and it typically has to involve deep-tissue kneading.

I found that this lotion’s lasting effects are different for each body part. For instance, when I massaged it onto my neck, I felt like it was actually doing what it touts and lasted a good 40 minutes. But when massaged onto my low-back, I felt nothing. Quads, felt nothing, calves, felt nothing.

What I did find it useful for was its sinus clearing peppermint essence. I recently came down with some sort of respiratory nastiness that set me back for a day. A generous dab rubbed onto the chest and neck seemed to clear my nasal passages, giving my dry mouth a break from hanging open to engulf air.

Bottom line: good to keep around in place of Vicks Vapo-Rub. Not so great as a muscle recovery aid

TYLER: Well, I wasn’t going to write quite as much about this one as Marisa. Suffice to say Muscle Butter feels really smooth and good against the skin for massaging sore quads and calves, but to get enough lubrication to make it really glide for massage purposes, you do have to use a fair amount. It’s not meant to be a massage cream, so take that comment for what it’s worth.

As for the muscle therapy effects, I felt only a slight warming effect, but it does smell good and my legs felt fairly good the days after several long or hard rides, so I’d say it may have some benefit, but it doesn’t slap you upside the head with intense warming heat like some rubs. It’s only 1/2 the price of the Chamois Creams ($9.00 for a 4oz tub) so if you’re ordering the creams, I’d say it’s worth a try if you like to try new things.


Not all ingredients are in each formula, but here’s comprehensive list of what they use:

Shea Butter – A soothing, anti-inflammatory, lubricating, protecting, and skin softening butter.

Mango Butter – Has natural emollient properties, and is said to be useful for wound healing and skin regeneration.

Cocoa Butter – A great skin-conditioning agent that coats the skin with a fine film; thereby diminishing water loss and leaving skin softened and protected.

Grapeseed Oil – Has cell regenerative and restructuring qualities and helps skin retain moisture.

Jojoba Oil – A liquid ‘wax’ that resembles the skins own sebum, jojoba oil is readily absorbed without making your skin feel greasy or tacky. It is also an excellent moisturizer and it won’t clog pores.

Emu Oil – A moisturizing, pain-relieving and anti-inflammatory oil.

Calendula – A healing, antiseptic, and anti-inflammatory oil.

Vitamin E – A natural preservative.

Lemon Essential Oil – A powerful antiseptic, anti-bacterial and anti-viral oil.

Lavender Essential Oil – A great overall balancing oil that works as a soothing agent, skin conditioner and astringent.

Tea Tree Essential Oil – A Cooling, soothing, anti-bacterial and anti-fungal oil.

Eucalyptus Essential Oil – A strong germicide that helps heal wounds.

Bees Wax – A Thickening agent and emulsifier which helps the skin retain moisture.

Corn Starch – Helps eliminate greasy feeling when applied.

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Emu Lady
14 years ago

Interesting reviews. Now I understand why I sell so much pure emu oil at triathlons and biking events. I assumed it was for relief of sun burns and insect bites, didn’t really think of the other applications. Thanks for the info.

14 years ago

Hi and thanks for the review. The formula for the men’s Ballocks and women’s Booty Balm are the same except for the essential oils so I’m not sure why the Booty lasted only 2 hours. Perhaps next time you can apply a bit more. I recently raced a 75 mile road race in Vermont and it lasted the whole time. A good rule of thumb is the longer the ride the more you apply.

Thanks again,


14 years ago

Chomper stuff rocks! I have tried most of the chamois cream out on the market in the last 2 years from everything from endurance mountain bike racing to long endurance road rides and I can say without a doubt it is the finest. It beats the pants of Assos chamois cream.
Why wouldn’t you want to shower your private parts with love?

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