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April 2017 New product roundup

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It’s beginning to look a lot like spring out there, and along with the first green shoots popping up from the ground, we’re starting to see a lot more products spring forth as well. Starting with the brilliant new disc brake – proof R1Disc shoes from FI’ZI:K. Thanks to the full metal upper, even an angle grinder will have a tough time making a dent in these kicks. Now, with new protective footwear being issued to the Peloton, we’ll finally see disc brakes accepted at all levels of competition…

For times when you need to carry your bike, Saris is introducing their new Bike Pack.

If you’re a fan of Zwift, you’re going to want to check out ZPEED from OPEN cycles as well.

Taking a page from Lauf’s playbook, River City Bicycles is pleased to announce its exclusive distribution deal with the secret design collective behind the incredible The Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ featuring RoadAirTE™ x chnology™

Hot on the heels of Air Max day (3/26), a new, Portland™-based, upcycled suspension company pumps up the groad biking category. Portland™ is widely renowned, (just ask anyone), for being the world’s foremost sustainability city and the development of a new cycling suspension shock absorber front fork only furthers that reputation. Utilizing repurposed air bubble technology sourced from running shoes found at local thrift stores, the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ transforms the harhsness of grinding into a plush gravel Flexperience™. No more worries about hydraulic maintenance or springy leaf springs, just the simplicity and dependability of Air™.

The Portland™ Bubble™ suspension fork combines the premium level of performance and features speedcyclers have come to expect from the planet’s best city for biking, now with a purpose-built 700c gravel design. The Bubble™ ushers in a new era in groad performance and efficiency giving riders the most hype out of every kilometer, no matter where the journey leads but especially if it’s a hip PDX™ cafe.

By offering 30mm of I-RT™ (Instagram-Ready Travel), the new Portland™ Bubble™ suspension fork is the perfect gravel bike expression of your social media vanity. The Bubble™ Fork™ smooths out Portland™ potholes and debris-strewn bike lanes better than any fork made anywhere by anyone else because it’s from Portland™.

While its on-the road performance is likely to be seen as adequate, the fork really shines online, its principal environment. Whether an Instagram post from a coffee shop or laid out in a Facebook kit grid post, the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ promises 31% more engagement and up to a 18% increase in Klout score. No other fork company even knows what a Klout score is.

Pricing

Originally priced at $500 just 18 months ago, the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ is now $3750. Recent purchases of 20% over asking price are now common.

Specs

  • Travel: 30mm-ish depending on several unique-to-Portland™ environmental factors
  • Weight: What’s the lightest fork in California? This one is lighter than that.
  • Rake: Like a leaf blower, “expert” internet comments about this subject are just hot air.
  • Axle: Proprietary standard
  • Brakes: Flat mount for min.160 mm and/or cm disks
  • Steerer: Compatible with all goosenecks.
  • Tires: Up to 700c x 150c / SixFifty.c x 5.0”
  • Rider weight limit: 98 pounds

Availability

Available only by joining a secret whisky bar first but not the one the New York Times just wrote about.

Principal Designer – Vince Rodarte

“My development of RoadAirTE™ x chnology™ explores the relationship between new class identities and unwanted gifts. With influences as diverse as Halson Inversion, Allsop Softride, and the Way High Patrol, new variations are created from both simple and complex forms.

Ever since I was a child I have been fascinated by the endless oscillation of air and breath. What starts out as inhalation soon becomes manipulated into a carnival of defeat, leaving only a sense of nihilism and the unlikelihood of a new beginning. But then hope, and with the breath of air from thrift comes new life. Bubble™, an irrational level of value and speculation or a child’s delight? Sadly, I may never know myself.”

FAQs

Will the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ fit my bike? Somehow

Will the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™ make me faster? Doubtful

Does anyone Cool™ ride the Portland™ Bubble™ Fork™? Just our ambassador team. (So, no.)

Will the Bubble™ pop? Not in 2017. (At least we hope it doesn’t before we sell it at the next Swap Meet X Art Show X Coffee Cupping.)

Speaking of Lauf, they also introduced a new fork, though this is specifically for your wheelbarrow. Not only will it make carrying heavy loads a bit easier, but it will help you reach the next level in your wheelbarrow freestyling.

Over at Trek, they’ve been doing some serious sciencing to come up with the next hot bike, the Nomadé.

Thanks to Quad Lock’s latest invention, eating on the go is now easier than ever.

SkunkLock is now offering a more environmentally friendly version of their revolutionary lock, the SkunkLock Organic.

SAN FRANCISCO, April 1, 2017 | Daniel Idzkowski and Yves Perrenoud, the inventors of the SkunkLock – the only bike lock that punishes would-be thieves, today, introduce SkunkLock Organic – a live skunk you leash to a bike to ward off theft.

The original Skunklock is a bike lock that releases noxious chemicals that induce vomit when cut, this new version of Skunklock promises to provide an all natural deterrent to would-be thieves. The SkunkLock Organic, or SkunkLock O-Lock, provides a real live skunk chained to a bike complete with a chain that is guaranteed to neither harm the bike or the skunk. This organic option unleashes a natural formula that is just as effective as the previous version. The odor is so strong and pungent that it can leave a thief smelling horrible for at least 24 hours, thus providing an all natural deterrent.

“We want to make the world a better place and I imagined two ways of doing that,” said co-inventor Daniel Idzkowski. “One way was to make the process of stealing a bike absolutely sickening for anyone who would dare try. The other is to do that sustainably and organically, with no artificial chemicals or preservatives in our formula.” One benefit of the Skunklock is that it looks and feels exactly like a regular U-lock. The organic version, of course, looks and feels exactly like a skunk. From its black fur with a signature white stripe to its terrible smell, Idzkowski and Perrenoud guarantee that the organic version is 100% skunk.

“Make no mistake, this is a skunk,” said Perrenoud “And it is chained to your bike. How you choose to carry it while riding is totally up to you. Personally I’ve installed a basket in the front of my bike that the skunk enjoys sitting in. I like giving him a scratch behind the ears whenever we’re at a stop light.” The skunk doubles as a companion to its owners, in some cases being just as friendly and stinky as dogs. But be careful if you hit a pothole. The skunk might get scared and spray you instead. “We’re obviously still working out
the kinks,” Perrenoud added.

When the creators were asked if they were afraid people would cut through the chain in order to steal the skunk, Idzkowski replied, “No. Skunks happen to be very loyal creatures, so I guarantee they would try to return to their owners, which would be frustrating for thieves. They also smell awful.” The organic and non-organic versions of SkunkLock will be available summer 2017 for all bikers in need at an affordable rate of $69.99.

Finally, in a move that has desperately needed some attention for some time, PBMA has announced that they are working with the UCI to establish a standard for cable tip installation.

Lucerne, Switzerland

In cooperation with the Professional Bicycle Mechanics Association, the UCI has introduced the following standard for applying cable tips to bicycles:
Shift and brake cable tip to be secured to cable by a single crimp with a perpendicular crimp at precisely 90 degrees and dead center of the tip.

PBMA President James Stanfill said, “All these kooky letters and patterns are done.  Professional mechanics do not have time to waste making crimps fancy, and there is no room in professional sport of support personnel’s attempt at style or flair.”

UCI Technical Director Gerhard Geld said, “in Europe, where cycling is very important, we have not made shapes or letters, always one crimp dead center, the PBMA pointed out still the inconsistency and we thank them for it.  Now we have an amazing, great, standard and uniformity.”

“I think, normally, until now, this is not possible.” Geld added, often.

Example photos can be seen here:

The complete technical document here:

 

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Matt
Matt
5 years ago

very nice

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

oohhhh!!! what size mail? Is there a titanium version for weight weenies?

Kernel Flickitov
Kernel Flickitov
5 years ago

Nice “shtick”, Vroomen! Good one..

Veganpotter
Veganpotter
5 years ago

What’s the ideal temperature for these? I can see them being too hot in the summer and even too cold in the fall.

ELEVEN_g
5 years ago
Reply to  Veganpotter

In summer, the inner comes out and you just wear the mail outer. In winter I hear they will offer a special bear skin booty…

Greg
Greg
5 years ago

Log in with your right foot, then log in with your left. Nice

ronoc
ronoc
5 years ago

dang those chain mail shoes are tight if only it wasn’t the 1st

Pete
Pete
5 years ago

The award-winning kind of journalism we’ve come to expect from BR.
E-bike Rumor, please take note.

macpriest
5 years ago

What day was this beautiful news presented to us? Doh!

trevorrr
trevorrr
5 years ago

I don’t get the Trek video

Drew (@IrrelevantD)
5 years ago
Reply to  trevorrr

Most of it is just a bunch of nonsense techno-babble. It’s an obvious homage to the “Turbo Encabulator”, which is basically a big engineering inside joke.

If you click the link to the Trek web page for the joke, it has the entire script. They even put a reference to it at the very end with “…improve the lactic threshold and VO2 max of riders everywhere without any negative effects of modular turbo encabulation or y-foil strain.”

That y-foil reference is another one they tossed as an obscure reference to those with a sharp eye. The Y-Foil was a bike they only made for a couple of years in the late ’90s that looked like a sideways Y. Basically, a beam bike, like a Soft-Ride, but fully rigid.

Some “Encabulator” videos in the links below, and a link to a Y-foil page.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w
http://johno.myiglou.com/yfoil.html

patrick
patrick
5 years ago

Okay, I had previously guessed a Nomade was in the works. Domane with with 700 x 45 or 650 x 2.1″ compatibility? Yes please.

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